Repaired with Gold

I am a sinner who is tired, broken and is in need of someone to save me because my strength fails.
I am someone who fears the future and keeps on asking what is next for me because I am nothing but unloved.
I am this human being who just wants to be loved and I want to matter to someone.
I am inflicted with a sickness that is called sin and I need healing.
I am a beggar and I need alms to make me feel that there is still a chance for my life to change.

I am currently in the season wherein admitting my vulnerabilities is an easy task. Admitting that I cannot do something is that easy HOWEVER surrendering those vulnerabilities is something I cannot do easily. Probably because I am looking for more answers to my “why’s? Probably, I am still hungry and thirsty and haven’t found the one that will fill me.

It is not that I am not putting my faith in Christ. It is not that I do not know how to pray or reflect but probably, I haven’t prayed enough or reflected enough. Maybe, lots of uncertainties bombard me or my discontentment of what is happening in my country, the justice system that makes me curious “is God really here? Is He still the God of this country? Or does He still love us?”

Unlimited questions left unanswered. But one thing is for sure: “Someone is infinite enough to answer it one by one in due time.” It may sound cliché but, that is one of those things I can hold onto for now.

And this Holy Week, some of my questions were answered through Church Simplified’s Walkway.

Walkway is an interactive exhibit that Church Simplified and Bonifacio Global City organizes annually to remember what Christ has passionately done on the Cross. It is a way to reach out to the community, giving an alternative way to reflect during the Lenten season.

And this year’s Walkway talks about healing and redemption. Topics that people do not want to talk about because at some point it will lead to long debates about political views and the wrecked justice system, of who is better. A debate that no one wants to lose and everyone wants is for their party or their stand to win.

This year’s theme is KINTSUGIIt is the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold or silver, recognizing the importance of history, visibly incorporating the repair instead of disgusting it, and understanding the process results in something more beautiful.

There is a need for me to wipe every tear I shed on one station before going to the other because I am sure, tears will fall from my eyes again. Because that precious 90 minutes I spent on the 14 stations answered some of my “why’s?” and “how’s?” in life. 14 stations gave me lots to ponder and reflect on that until now I really cannot comprehend how amazing God is – but all I know is that every station repairs those deep wounds in my heart, every station speaks so much that it breaks my pride and turns it to humility.

I will end this with a letter:

To the person who needs to WAKE UP from overthinking, be watchful for God moves in the most unexpected way. Wake up because the answer you might be waiting for is right in front of you. Wake up and be willing to see things in a different perspective.

To the person who is BROKEN, BETRAYED, UNLOVED and REJECTED, God sees your broken heart. Your state of heart will not separate you from the fact that He loves you so much. There is a love that died so that you may live. If it happens that you are the one who breaks, betrays, hates and rejects – God will chase you still, He experienced betrayal first but never will He betray you. God will save a seat for you, because you matter to Him.

To the person who is BOMBARDED with so much hate, fear or worry, take time to PAUSE and REFLECT. You might be forgetting who you are because of so much fear you have in this world. Probably, you are wrapped in immense anger that you want to kill someone. No one is beyond redemption.

To the person who is STUCK inside his comfort zone, think about STEPPING OUTSIDE of it. Give more, pray more. Try to be the greater person this time. Life is about giving after all. Do not be afraid of giving, it might be that one step towards healing.

To the person who is BEATEN by angry souls, Christ was beaten up first for you to be healed. May you be able to find healing and may you learn to forgive those who have hurt you. Be honest enough to admit that you are hurt. If it happens that you are the one who beats other people up, may you be reminded that there is love that came for you and may you be embraced by that love for you to feel valued.

To the person who is IMPRISONED to a certain struggle or addiction or VIOLATED, may you find the freedom or the one who wants to save you.  May you find what you really want in life and be contented with it.

To the person who is JUDGED or BULLIED because of preferences or personality, may you finally find the person who will accept you for who you are no matter what. May you feel loved. And may you not be discouraged to stand up for what is right.

To the person who FALLS or feels like they are a FAILURE, may you accept the fact that you aren’t strong enough so ask help. May you find the helping hand you need whenever you face trials. May you not do things just to please people, do it for Christ. It is not how you start the fight, it is how you finish the walk.

To the person who is facing CHANGES and finds it hard, may you always remember that nothing is easy. May you find assurance that God can turn your ashes to beauty, your mourning into dancing and your sorrow into joy.

To the person whose FAMILY is facing challenges, may you still love them no matter what happens. May you be grateful for them to be a part of your life and may you all be made whole in His perfect time.

To the person who feels HOPELESS and FEELING DESPERATE, may you find that chance you are looking for in life. Probably, at some point, you feel like giving up but please don’t. May you find Christ as someone who has loving arms that is widely open for you.

To the person who is currently in a DARK situation, may you find light. May you find healing and if you are a victim of abuse or rape or harassment, may you find courage to speak up and share the pain. That will not separate you from God’s love. The cross is there to remind you that there is no pain nor shame that His love won’t overcome.

To the person who feels UNLOVED, may you not forget that the cross is there to remind you that you are loved unconditionally. That love is too immense to be measured. May you learn to just give love without expecting in return — if you run out of love, go back to the Author of Love. Love is an action word, not a currency.

And to the person who feels USELESS and keeps on asking “WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?”, may you find meaning and may you allow yourself to be equipped for a wonderful purpose. May you allow yourself to bless other people the way you want to be blessed. May your life give a glimpse of heaven. And may you allow yourself to be used for His Glory — to see this broken world the way God sees you.

Have a blessed Holy Week everyone!

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If you cannot drop by at BGC, Taguig to do Walkway, feel free to reflect with us online.

To know more about Church Simplified or to listen to the past messages or podcasts, go to http://www.churchsimplified.com/. You can also follow them on Social Media by searching: Church Simplified. Or you can join us as a community every Sunday, 4:30pm at The Belle and Dragon (C. Palanca Street, Legaspi Village, Makati City). Hope to see you there!

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